


pity

by gothclaudia



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Catholic School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad gays, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Teen Angst, Teenagers, literally a summary of this, sad n queer n angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-01 08:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4013290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothclaudia/pseuds/gothclaudia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard is a morbidly sad teenager. Frank is a pissed off punk kid. Both have skeletons in the closet. Both are somewhat in the closet. Will they try to fix each other? You bet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gerard Decides to get shit faced at 10 and makes a list

Nothing was working anymore. Gerard sat on the floor of his room with a plastic cup half full of vodka. He’d drunk the other half, hoping that the alcohol would make him feel less shitty, he was wrong. Now that his brain was fuzzed up and his motor skills decreased he regretted downing the vodka. At least his parents wouldn’t find out. They never drank hard liquor but had a bottle in the house for guests. It was mostly water at this point. It’s funny that he could get away with this. Gerard laughed bitterly to himself. His parents had no idea what a fucked up kid he was. They were at Mikey’s soccer game and thought he was doing homework or cleaning his room. Some kind of wholesome activity for their good Christian son. 

Gerard downed the rest of the vodka and tossed the cup into the trash. He was really shitfaced now. What if they came home right now? Gerard thought. He was a decent actor and could probably fool them into thinking that he was 100% sober. It had worked before so he had nothing to worry about. He tripped on his school bag as he walked back from the trashcan. Gerard hit the floor hard, his head pounding into the wood floor. He decided to stay there and wallow in self-pity, because he was drunk and in no mood to do anything else. 

Lying on the floor, Gerard made a list of all the things that he knew to be true. 1\. He was not a he. He was more of a they. But mostly He. But not always. 2\. He wasn’t straight. At all. 3\. He was a colossal waste of air. 4\. He should probably kill himself. 5\. He should be writing a history essay. 6\. He were hungry. Gerard only got to number six on that list because, as he had suspected, his parents came home from Mikey’s soccer thing.


	2. The Eyeliner pencil that send Gerard's life on a Choo Choo train to hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! sorry this is a total mess, but trigger warning for homophobic language at the begining. Thank you so much for reading!!!! I'm glad people actually like this :)

They were all smiles talking about how fantastic Mikey was in the game and how great the team was and how god damn peachy life was. Gerard couldn’t stand these people. He definitely loved them, but really didn’t like them all that much. Gerard knew how his father was pretty much against anything vaguely out of the conservative Christian mind set, so they never said anything about maybe not being a boy 100% of the time or maybe liking boys sometimes (most of the time). Correction, Gerard had briefly talked about maybe (definitely) liking boys with his mother, and she had told him in so many words, “I still love you, don’t tell your father, don’t come out until you are 30 years old and married to a good Christian girl”. She claimed that it was all in their best interest, but it made Gerard feel trapped in his own skin. 

It was tough for him to feel accepted or loved when he had to repress his entire identity at home at least. Lindesy knew, but she was one person, and more importantly, his only friend. She moved to town when Gerard was in 8th grade. She had been in his English class and they became friends when he mumbled a complement about her misfits shirt. To his surprise she actually knew who they were, and didn’t just pick up the shirt for the sake of being “cool and different and totally punk rock”. That seemed to be the reason the blonde cheerleaders all had Nirvana shirts.

His mother was delighted that he had friends, and after the first time he brought her home, his father had a “man to man” chat about safe sex. They had gone out to a chain sports bar and over mediocre wings, Mr. Way had told him all about his various experiences with generic sounding women. He had acted like he was some kind of god, but at the time Gerard didn’t care much because he wasn’t being yelled at. He knew that he would never ever do anything remotely sexual with Linsey (unless there was a copious amount of alchol involved), but the guesture was nice. 

The next time Gerard and his father went back to the sports bar was the night before. That was one of the many reasons he had decided to get shitfaced at 10 in the morning. It had seemed innocent enough when they had gotten to the bar. But after the apitizter was cleared away, Gerard knew something was very, very wrong. His father had dropped the happy façade that he was wearing the whole car ride. “Gerard do you know why I took you out tonight?” Mr. Way asked. 

“Father-Son bonding?” Gerard threw up in his mouth after saying that, but he wanted his father to cut to the chase. 

“Well, that and we’ve noticed that you haven’t been acting, like yourself lately. Is this yours?” He pulled a stub of an eyeliner pencil out of his coat pocket and placed it on the table. Gerard began to sweat bullets. His eyes darted around as he deperitly tried to think of an excuse. It was infact his, and he had bought it when he went to the movies with Lindsey. They had stopped at Target and she had recomened the brand and showed him how to put it on. 

“Yes, well..” Gerard stuttered “It’s for drama. I mean I had it from when I was in Hamlet, everyone needed to wear stage makeup so we wouldn’t get washed out, it’s nothing I swear.”

“I’m sure. But if it was just for the play how come Mikey tells us he sees you in it at school?” 

Shit. He had forgotten about Mikey. His thirteen year old brother was always fucking up everything. He had paid him to not say anything, but it wasn’t enough he guessed. “Well, I wear it sometimes, because I saw __________ (generic manly actor from some war movie) wearing it and thought I could be like them”. That expalination seemed to satisfy Mr. Way.

“Well. I guess that’s alright. But, I don’t want to have my son looking like a faggot so I’m going to have to get rid of this.” They finished up dinner in the generic sports bar and drove home with out any substantial conversation. When they parked in the driveway, Mr. Way dropped the bombshell. “Oh, and I forgot to tell you. Your grandmother, Elena has cancer. She’s going in for chemo next week. She didn’t want us to tell you, but your mother and I know she’s important to you.” 

Important to him was an understatement. Elena was the only member of his family who understood him. She was a strange old woman. The kind who bought into crystal healing and spirit animals, but that was one of the reasons Gerard loved her so much. She told him she had sensed that he wasn’t all male, and that it was okay that he liked boys. He had no idea how she could tell, but then, he rembered he left his sketchpad at her house. The old woman had snooped, and then talked to the spirts via medical marijuana. But Gerard was okay with that. He was happy that someone other than Lindsey understood him. But now, he though, she was most likely going to die. And that's why Gerard decided to get shit faced at 10'oclock on a Saturday which would start to send his life on a choo choo train to hell.


	3. Frank Iero is a short ball of hate in a Suburban town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be writing an equal amount from both perspectives (I hope) Thank you so much for reading it means a ton!!

Frank Iero was pissed. He was in a new town; slightly less shitty than the one he lived in before, it had a decent school system and little crime (that was reported) but, that slight change in quality made the people all the more awful. They knew they were better than the neighboring towns with their manicured lawns and brand name clothes. Everyone was so god damn wholesome and it pissed him off. The kind of town where there was as many Churches as there were McDonalds.

They had a fridge full of casserole thanks to women with big, fake smiles, and sweater vests. Frank refused to eat them, because they had meat, and he was a vegetarian, and that he was worried that the lovely neighborhood ladies were trying to poison them. 

Frank was pissed that they had to move here in the first place. It was all because his dad was a piece of shit. He had been sleeping with a waitress named Carla for 4 years, and got her knocked up. No one knew about this until Frank's mom saw that the college savings acount was wiped out to support Carla and her 3 kids. That's when shit hit the fan. Frank's parents had an okay realtionship before, but now, everything they kept inside for the 10 years of the marriage broke loose. They screamed at each other constantly, and one day, Mr. Iero just packed up and left to live with Carla in Mexico or something. Frank's mom was pissed that she had to work again, becasue he had left her with no money, and no note. Thankfully, (in a morbid sense) Frank's great aunt died and left Linda some money in her will. She used 10% on vodka, and 90% to get her and Frank started in town.

When he was reluctent to go school, she told him it wouldn’t be that bad and that he’d make friends, and that he should join a sports team. All of those things sounded horrific. Specifically the friends bit (the sports team came pretty close). He had friends, before at least. In his old town he plenty of friends. A bunch of black clad punks who trolled around local parks and occasionally wrote on bridges. He even had a girl friend named Jamia. She was great, and wore more eyeliner than him, so that made him feel better about himself. They held hands and kissed in public, always making a scene. They had a game where they’d try to piss off as many people as possible. Frank’s feminine features made it easier, he was often mistaken for a girl, and since conservative Christians love the gays so much, they could get twice the points if his hair was getting long. 

They had been pretty serious, they had sex one time, but it was awkward and uncomfortable (Frank had decided that it was a cute idea to do it in the car. Bad idea). Neither of them really felt anything, and shortly afterwards, about a week before they moved, Jamia came out to him as gay, and then broke up with him. She then paid for there coffee while he called her a bitch and refeused her offer to drive him home. It was a nice day out ironically, which made Frank even more pissed off. 

When he got home, he was heart broken and listened to Brand New’s entire discography before he felt better. Then, miraculously, he was fine. When he really thought about it, he wasn’t really in love with Jamia, he just needed something to hold on to. And she was a wet kisser which he hated. So after roughly 3 hours of heartbreak Frank was ready to move on. But not move out of the town. The people were scummy, but at least they knew that. From the school tour his mother forced him to go on Frank had a feeling the people were just as scummy, but hid it well, or didn’t know it.


	4. Character Descriptions and a Break from the Story

Setting: Fall of 2006. For reference, Frank sad jams to God and the Devil are Raging Inside Me. The town is somewhere in New Jersey, I don't have a pinpointed location. The town isn't great, but Mrs. Iero was lucky enough to land in the nicest part, so from Frank's perspective, it's a total WASP town. They go a Catholic Private school called, guess what, Our Lady of Sorrows. It has a croquet team and a lacrosse team, and not much else. Really shitty art program. That might be important. Uniform is like the I'm Not Okay video. Will include sketches of how the characters wear the uniforms. People use myspace but not a ton. This is not relevant to the plot. Also. Lots of Vodka. Idk. I like it. it gets you drunk pretty quick and is easy to buy in bulk. or steal from you parents liqour cabinet

Characters: Gerard Way. 16 years old, hates himself. He looks like bullets era. Wears eyeliner when he goes out, if he can sneak it. His parents are super involved in the church. Has an awesome Hippie Grandmother. Hippie Grandmother also gets him weed. Hippie Grandmother is dying from cancer though. Not good. Before the events of this fic, drinks occationally, at a party or whatever. Smokes occationaly. Note. All of this is BEFORE. You'll see what happens. Uses he/him pronouns, but is a them sometimes. Sees a shitty therapist in an office located in a strip mall. Best friend is Lindsey.

Frank Iero. 15. Punk piece of scum. Angry a lot. Looks like I'm not okay video but more eyeliner. Mom doesn't care what he does. actually does decent in school. people don't know this about him. Decent guitar player. Big fan of misfits. Bums cigarettes from old guys who think he's pretty outside convience stores. Decent guy. Not really into girls but doesn't fully accept that. But, he puts the ho in homosexual.

Lindsey Ballato: 16. Witch bitch. Parents love her because she looks really pure and innocent. Is the exact opposite. Puts the ho in homosexual. Is a practicing Wiccan. Her parents don't give a shit and are out of town a lot. They send her to Catholic school because it makes them look like they care. Is a bit of a bitch. Has some skelotons in the closet, and is into a lot of dark shit. Gerard's only friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter will be the story, but I wanted to give you an idea of where I was coming from. Thank you for reading it means a ton :)


	5. Frank has an uncomfortable conversation with a cute cashier and acts like a creep

It was a Saturday morning around 11, and Frank was bored. He had nothing to do. Correction, he had something to do, he had quite a lot to do, like unpacking boxes or giving his mother the time of day, but he wasn’t in the mood for that. He decided to go for a walk, it was a shitty day, and he’d look cool. Best to scare a few kids in this neighborhood so he could have a little status when he started school on Monday. He decided to walk to the local 7/11. Frank was a professional loiterer. 

On a good day he could get a pack of reds, a pamphlet explaining why he should let Jesus into his heart, and maybe a few nips. As he walked he noticed, to his surprise and delight, that the town was not the WASP cluster as he initially thought. The town definitly had some true gutter scum and for that he was thankful. He could definitely do some damage here. On his way to the gas station, he walked by his new school. He wasn’t able to see the school because of the huge church in front of it. It was the biggest one in town, with a strange roofline and stained glass. It looked like the kind of church where they’d shoot a cheesy horror movie. The kind that you can pick up for .99 cents at blockbuster. Frank loved those movies. The cheap sets and fake blood and the actors who did porn on the side made them laughable. In a strange way it made him feel powerful knowing that he would survive in these worlds made of polyester and plywood. He was truly 

When he finally approached the 7/11, the sky had begun to drizzle. He loved rain, but unfortunately, it meant that his loitering could only last so long. There’s a point where rain makes you look good, but then shortly after you look like a drowned rat. And no one wants to buy a rat cigarettes. 

He had some change in his pocket, maybe enough to buy a candy bar, or the scene kid staple, Monster. He walked into the sea of partially functioning neon signs advertising all of the crap food they had to offer. Frank had just enough for a classic monster and a pack of combos. He walked up the cash register and was met with a pleasant surprise. The cashier was really hot. They had short black hair and a lanky body. No boobs but Frank was okay with that. They were totally working the shitty 7/11 work polo. They had a really androgynous facial structure that he really liked. And they were wearing eyeliner. 10/10 in his book. Frank decided that he’d ask for a number when he bought his food.

“Hey, uh here’s my number. I’d love to get to know you.” Frank said as he passed the cashier a pile of crushed up ones. The cashier’s eyes widened. They looked like a scared puppy, which Frank found adorable. He really hoped they’d say something. He needed a foot hold in this town. One step would be someone cute, also, he was really lonely. But he would never admit it because he was tough and mysterious. Seriously, why didn’t the cashier say anything? “Uh, I’m new here, and I’m going to Our Lady of Sorrows. I start Monday, and would love to like, know someone”. Frank cursed himself for saying this, he sounded like such a fuckboy. “Sorry I didn’t want to come off too strong, I’m awful with people” He cracked a smile and hoped he didn’t look like a creep.

Finally, the cashier spoke, “Oh, thank you. I will. I go to Our Lady of Sorrows too. Maybe when I get on break, we can get a coffee or something. I’d say stick around, but the coffee here is total shit.”

“Yeah, sounds good, oh and, what’s your name?”

“Oh..Uh.. Gee. Gee. That’s my name.” The cashier said.

“Well, uh, nice to meet you Gee”

“So, meet you at the Starbucks at like 3?”

“Yeah. I’m Frank by the way, see you then”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys see where this is going? Also thank you so much for reading! it means a ton :)


	6. The chapter before Gerard's choo choo train to hell leaves the station

After Gerard had fooled his parents into thinking that he had written his history essay, and hadn’t downed a plastic cup of grey goose, he showered and got ready for his job at the 7/11 down the street. He didn’t mind the job, he knew who bought condoms (half of them had on purity rings), and tried to sneak out packs of beef jerky under sweatshirts. He hadn’t gone to work buzzed before, so it would be a new experience. He hoped he wouldn’t have to do any motor skill heavy tasks like folding the shitty tourist shirts that no one bought, or stacking an elaborate pyramid of boxed snacks that would supposedly entice customers to “buy, buy buy!” He knew he could handle being cashier, basic math was something he could do even if he was half dead.

There was science in the car as Gerard’s father drove him to the 7/11. He really needed to learn how to drive, but would rather avoid being in a confined space with his father for several hours.   
Gerard’s father left him outside the convenience store, fuelled up, and left. He walked in, punched his time card, and then used the bathroom to change into the work polo, and apply his backup eyeliner. Sure his father had taken his nice one, but Gerard was prepared. This stuff was total shit, but it would do. He looked at himself in the mirror, and minus the garish red polo, he looked all right. His face was slim, and his body wiry, with a skirt and a little more makeup, they’d be a really hot girl. Gerard loved that. 

The lingering effects of vodka made him a little more confident than usual, so he doubled the eyeliner and felt better. He got himself a cup of the watery coffee that they sold. Piss might be better, but that didn’t have caffeine, something he desperately needed. To his luck he was on the cashier shift, 11 to 3. Not bad. There wasn’t anything better for him to do, and he was getting paid albeit minimum wage.

He seated himself on the shitty little stool they had behind the counter and unfolded the square of notebook paper he had in his pocket. His manager didn’t like him drawing on the job, especially when there were customers in the store. It, “Looked unprofessional.” Gerard didn’t know what his manager was smoking to think that you should use the words professional and cashier in the same sentence. So, now he had to smuggle in paper and use the crappy ballpoint pens they had on the counter to draw, but it was better than nothing. 

Outside, it started to rain. That usually meant that customers would come in sopping wet, which meant that they’d make a mess on the linoleum, which meant that he would have to mop it up. That was one of Gerard’s least favorite things. As he thought about the consequences of rain, and scribbled a really cool vampire, the bell clinked, signifying that a customer had entered. Gerard tucked the paper under the counter and pretended that he was just staring into space, and not drawing an awesome vampire nun holding a machine gun.

The customer was a kid with short dark hair. Italian looking with a nose piercing, and a little bit of eyeliner. The kind of guy Gerard was always into, but always had a girlfriend, or was a picture on MySpace. His hood was up, most likely because of the rain. His shoes didn’t squeak on the Linoleum, which meant he just got out of a car, or had been outside just before it started raining. He had a habit of over analyzing the customers as they came in. It passed the time, and was great for someone so nosy, yet socially awkward. The boy approached the counter with a monster and a pack of combos. The monster said scene kid, or wannabe, but the combos said stoner. He decide that the kid needed caffeine (Gerard was never into scene boys. Too high maintenance). To his complete surprise, the kid spoke to him. 

“Hey, uh here’s my number. I’d love to get to know you.” The kid said as he passed the Gerard a pile of crushed up ones. His eyes widened. This boy was interested in him? “Uh, I’m new here, and I’m going to Our Lady of Sorrows. I start Monday, and would love to like, know someone. Sorry I didn’t want to come off too strong, I’m awful with people” the kid finished. Gerard was floored. It took a solid minute of smoothing the crumpled bills to get out an answer.

“Oh, thank you. I will. I go to Our Lady of Sorrows too. Maybe when I get on break, we can get a coffee or something. I’d say stick around, but the coffee here is total shit.” He said. He hoped he hadn’t said it too quickly. He did not want to seem desperate around this guy.

“Yeah, sounds good, oh and, what’s your name?” Beautiful dream boy said

“Oh..Uh..” Gerard panicked. For once he had a time to introduce himself to someone new. Someone who was actually interested in him. Someone he could really be himself with. “Gee. Gee. That’s my name.” He sputtered out.

“Well, uh, nice to meet you Gee”

“So, meet you at the Starbucks at like 3?”

“Yeah. I’m Frank by the way, see you then” Beautiful dream boy Frank said. Once the bell clinked again, Gerard realized his mistake. With the shortening of his name, he erased his gender. A good thing for him, but what if Frank thought he was a girl. Shit. It was a complement, but he really really liked Frank and it would totally suck if the only reason he gave him his number was because he thought he was a cute girl. He’d just have to wait and see.


	7. The choo choo train leaves the station

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> amanda if youre reading this you're a turd

Sitting around at the counter was awful. Besides Frank, no one had came into the store for almost an hour. The bell jingled and Gerard was relived that there was actually a customer. He straightened up on the stool trying to get a good view of the customer. They were tall with a thick frame. He couldn’t tell if they were fat or if it was just the sweatshirt. The customer went to the back of the store where they had the refrigerated cases of soft drinks and cardboard boxes of beer. It was silent for about a minute, then he heard the shattering of glass from the back of the store. He edged himself out from behind the counter and walked cautiously to the back of the store. He was not in the mood for broken glass in his foot. When he found the shattered beer bottle, he was too busy to notice that the man was nowhere in sight. There was another crash of glass; he didn’t know where it came from, until he saw his own blood.

His eyes opened and he saw the man from before talking with a stockier man. They were in a heated argument, but Gerard wasn’t processing much. “Come on Mark, why did you hit the kid? It’s so much better when they get the cash”

“The manager’s in the back room with a busted cell phone, he could get it”

“Fine. Then get him.”

“Oh shit! The kid’s awake. Take care of him for me?”

“My pleasure” The stocky one said as he made his way to the back. The fat one bent down to get a better look at his face. He offered a hand to help Gerard up, and he accepted. The man was strong, really strong and that freaked him out a little bit. Once he was on his feet, he was able to notice the sheer size of the man. He was around 6’2 and there was obviously some muscle contained in his fat. He steadied himself and stood gawking at the man. The man turned to him again and pulled a gun out of his pocket “Sorry kid” He said. The barrel was cold against him temple “Walk until I tell you to stop” He led Gerard into the back of the store where the lanky man had repressed his manager. 

The manager was in better shape then he was, but was trembling like a leaf. It felt like forever, and then Lanky man spoke, “One of you open this safe or one of you dies” The manager’s fingers trembled as he fumbled with the combination on the wall safe. Gerard’s eyes were wide with fear as he watched his boss miss a number on the combination and have to start over. Lanky man was getting mad at the manger and got more fed up after every failed attempt at opening the safe. After the fifth failed attempt, he snapped. “Okay pal, I’ve got one bullet in this and every time you fuck up, I’ll pull the trigger. You don’t want to mess with me”. The manager, a fat hairless man looked like he was about to cry, or vomit, or possibly both. He took a deep breath and tried the lock again. The lock clicked and the safe opened. “Thanks” Lanky man said. 

The manager looked relived, and about to say something, when there was a loud bang, and the hairless man drew his last breath. Gerard vomited on the spot. One part breakfast, two parts bile right on the fat man’s shoes. As was suspected of lanky man, there was a gunshot and Gerard went thump on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a piece of shit i'm really sorry, but i need to set up the story. thank you so much for reading!!


	8. So much blood, I feel nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really short, but I wanted to finish this side of the story

He wasn’t dead. But his heart was beating so fast it felt like it would stop any second. The lanky man had shot the manager again, and instinctively, Gerard hit the floor shielding himself from the gun. He didn’t move for a while. He heard the men leave, but stayed. He didn’t know where they went, and at this point he didn’t care. His boss was dead, eyes glazed over staring blankly at him. The second wave of nausea his him and he gagged, nothing but putrid bile spilling out. He pushed back his hair, and felt sick when he brought it down. His head was sticky with his own blood from being smashed in the head with a beer bottle. In all of the shit that had happened in the last, how long had it been? Roughly 2 hours, he couldn’t care less. He wasn’t dead. But he could’ve been. Slowly, he rose from the floor and stumbled out of the door. There was a phone on the desk. He could call the police, and everything would be fine. It would all be okay. 

With trembling hands he dialed the number of the local police. Three rings and someone picked up “New Jersey police, what is your problem?”

“There was a…a.. robbery.. at the 7/11 next to the highway.. My manager’s dead and I don’t know what to do. They came in here and took some money, but they shot him and there’s so much blood”

“Stay calm, we’re on our way” The operator said and hung up. Gerard stood behind the counter listening to the dropped call dial tone ring in his ears. Why had he even gotten up? In the period of 24 hours, Gerard Way’s life had slowly descended into hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a Frank chapter, and comment if you know the song that the title comes from!! Thank you for reading :)


	9. Frank is stood up and acts very emo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short, I wanted to get something out to you guys, concidering I haven't written for a while

That bitch never showed up. Frank had waited at the Starbucks for an hour after three. He ordered another coffee and still, no one. He was pissed, for once, he reached out. For once he tried to make a friend, maybe something more, but no. Nothing ever worked out for him. He left the Starbucks at 4, and began to make his way back to the WASP hive of a neighborhood he lived in. As he walked past the 7/11, he saw an ambulance and a few police cars outside. Probably nothing, he thought. The rain was really coming down now. Frank put his hood up, his hands in his pockets and began the trudge home.

Once he got home, he plucked his iPod off the charger and popped in his standard issue apple headphones, put the volume up high, and sat, like the true emo he was in the corner of his room, still piled with moving boxes that he should probably unpack, and listened to Brand New's entire discography, which had recently gotten bigger, God and the Devil are Raging Inside Me had just dropped, but for his mood he opted for Deja Entendu. After the third full listening, he shuffled down the stairs and grabbed a granola bar from the open box on the partially assembled kitchen table. The whole frame was finished, but only half the table was usable. He went back upstairs and continued his angst session with Your Favorite Weapon, and felt a little better. Maybe he'd see that girl from 7/11 at school. Maybe she forgot, or had something she had to do. It would all be okay, and damn, Jesse Lacey could sing


	10. Lame gay kid is excited for school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry i haven't been writing for a while! loss of inspiration + school. but i'm back at it :)

There were bright lights, and a thin blanket around his shoulders. He was shaking and he didn’t know why. There were hands everywhere and voices he didn’t know asking, asking, asking, he didn’t know what was going on and he didn’t want to. It was to loud the whine of the sirens, and the people all taking in hushed voices, but to him, they could’ve been yelling. He sat on the sidewalk with the flimsy orange blanket around him and tried to block out what had just happened

 

He sat there for a while and at one point, someone had guided him up and let him into one of the ambulances. He didn’t remember much after that which was nice. 

 

Then, there were bright lights, not the red and blue ones from yesterday, but white, sterile ones. He was in a hospital. Then he wasn’t. Nothing made sense for a while, lots of questions and vague answers and pictures of his boss in a pool of blood.

 

He didn’t actually know how long he was in the hospital for, or what the date was when he got home. He just remembed waking up in his room with his mother standing over him. 

 

“Honey, it’s your therapist thinks that it’s a good idea for you to start school again. She says that all of this thinking by yourself may be making it worse. Start getting ready and I’ll drive you in.”

 

“Sure….whatever.” he mumbled as she left his room. He stumbled out of the bed, took a lukewarm shower and put on the shitty catholic school uniform. Maybe going back to school would be a good idea. He’d see Lindsey again. Man, he hadn’t talked to her for ages. As he fumbled with the tie he began to think how going back to school wouldn’t be such a bad idea. How right he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! it would mean a ton if you left a comment or something :)


End file.
